Cats are mysterious creatures – it’s just one reason we love them so much. But, it can also make it difficult to understand them. Here are the top 5 questions we think cats would ask if they could talk.
Why can’t I go outside?
Because we love you and want you to be safe. Outside, there are millions of automobiles and thousands of unscrupulous humans who may want to hurt you. We also know you like to roam and hunt, so we have created ways for you to hunt indoors and even built an entire tunnel system for you! Let me show you how to play.
If you’re still really interested in going outside, we have safe ways for you to enjoy the great outdoors without being exposed to all the dangers of being outside.
Will I ever eat grass again?
We know how much you enjoy the grass that grows outside the window, so we have brought you an indoor grass planter that you can eat! This will also help you more easily expel those hairballs you’re always trying to cough up. Grass is a fiber and it will help your digestive system. Normally you get this type of supplement when you eat your prey, but since you’re kept safely indoors, we have to adjust your diet.
Why are you so upset about my spraying?
We know that spraying is about communicating, but indoors, it’s an unacceptable (and often deal-breaking) issue. However, we want you to feel at home, so instead of scent marking the furniture, we’re going to diffuse pheromones that will remind you of your first days with your mother and help you feel more at home indoors.
We know we need to “think like a cat” and understand that spraying is just one of the ways you communicate a problem to us. Fortunately, we also know there are lots of things we can do to solve a spraying problem.
Why are you always brushing me? (Not that I’m complaining)
Brushing is an important part of your health, so we enjoy making you feel loved while helping you to shed your winter (or summer) coat. The first cats of the world were short-haired cats. Humans created the long-coated cats and you haven’t changed enough to care for your beautiful long fur like you should.
Also, our furniture gets covered in cat hair if we don’t brush you! Regular brushing also helps keep you out of the veterinarian’s office (which we know you hate!) and helps avoid the need for a bath and makes you feel cooler in summer and warmer in winter.
Why do you think I have bad breath?
Well, we don’t think you have bad breath… Not unless there is a problem, which is why we take you to the veterinarian for annual checkups. This helps prevent the loss of teeth (which we know are important to a big predator like you!). So please don’t think we’re punishing you – we have only your best interests at heart!
If your cat could ask you a question, what would it be? And how would you answer?